The popular television series The Dog Whisperer hosted by Cesar Milan shows him working with difficult and sometimes dangerous dogs. Cesar says “he rehabilitates dogs and trains their owners.” Cesar is not only insightful with dogs, but he’s a superb people psychologist as well. In most cases dogs learn bad behavior because their owners either permit it or caused it in the first place.

I was at our subdivision’s pool for about two and a half hours one day last summer, and I observed a woman that had brought her two children to the pool. For the entire time, even when she went to the snack shop, she was on her cell phone. When the kids would come out of the pool and say “watch this mommy” her reply was “can’t you see mommy is on her phone?”

I decided to drive to the bookstore and as I got up to leave I noticed that she was gathering up her kids and was still talking on her cell phone. Her conversation with her various friends could only be labeled as gossip by anyone who had to hear it. From what I heard, her conversations were totally condemning, critical and judgmental of everyone she talked about.

Coincidently she was going to the books store as well. The traffic was such that I had to follow her for the entire twenty minute trip. I couldn’t help but notice that her cell phone only left her ear long enough for her to place a new call! When I left the bookstore, her kids were arguing while she remained engaged in her conversations! If you would ask her how she spent her day, she would probably indicate that she spent it with her kids.

The truth of the matter was that she wasn’t even remotely engaged with her children. She did frequently threaten them with time outs if they didn’t stop this that or the other thing immediately. What is wrong in this picture?

I’ve often said that barring a physical problem, “it doesn’t take much effort to have sex and give birth to a child, but to raise one to be a balanced, happy, confident member of society, that… takes a lot of work.”

As a behavioral therapist that’s board certified in both clinical and medical hypnotherapy, some of the individuals that I see are children. The one’s that make it to my office are pretty messed up. Quite often they are like this because their parents are permissive or not emotionally available to their kids. It’s easier to buy the children something than to connect with them and teach and show interest in them.

A parent’s job is not to be their child’s best friend; the child will have a lot of friends in life. But it is to be a parent. There’s a big difference.

I am a practicing hypnotherapist in Atlanta, Georgia. A great portion of my hypnosis practice here in Atlanta is weight loss. Many people that have came to see me have previously attempted to lose weight by trying to cut back, on what they eat. They’ve done this on a daily or weekly basis for years. Why doesn’t just cutting back work?

Our body is not designed to reflect hourly, overnight or even three or four day differentials in diet, so the results that one sees if any, are minimal. People think “what’s the use” then give up and try cutting back a few days later with the same lack of positive results. In order for our body to survive it wants to maintain a status quo so that it doesn’t stress itself over when or if we will get our next meal, such as cave man and other early varieties of man would certainly have done. It was not until a few hundred years ago that man had the luxury of being able to eat “three squares” a day. And it was not until relatively recent times that “junk” food became available at gas stations and fast food stores and virtually everywhere that enabled him to snack or “graze” almost continually.

Many of the people that come to see me for losing weight though hypnosis in Atlanta, Georgia are what I have called compensatory dieters. What does that term compensatory dieter mean? It means that they cut back what they eat and/or how much they eat for a meal or two, or even four or five days, or they exercise and then rationalize to themselves, that since they’ve “cut back” or exercised they should be able to have a little more of this or a little more of that. They are rationalizing. According to Dr. Gregory House from the popular TV series House, rationalizing means lying to one’s self.

In the cognitive maps found in the subconscious mind, are many, many cues that cause you to revert to your old eating habits. Some of these cues are emotional in nature and some are mechanical. Either way these cues keep one eating the way they are used to eating whether they go on some kind of diet or not. These maps being located in the subconscious mind can only be changed in the subconscious mind. Hypnosis is the bridge to the subconscious mind, it is the only way that one can access their subconscious to change these cues. Diets don’t work. You would really have to think long and hard to recall anyone, that has lost an appreciable amount of weight and kept if off for two years. Why? Because these people revert to their previous eating habits as the old cues in their cognitive maps are still in place. Using  hypnosis for weight loss will enable one to move past the old eating cues and replace them with new eating cues. Once the old cues are replaced with new cues, you will begin to eat in a manner that will keep you thin intuitively!

Cutting back is a mindset that doesn’t work for weight loss. Why? Well let’s say that you wanted to take a boat from one side of the Chattahoochee River to the other, if you placed one foot in the boat and left one foot on the river bank, no part of you would make it to the other side! In using hypnotherapy for weight loss one must incorporate the concept of commitment. Put both feet in the boat! That’s commitment!

I’ve found in the marriage counseling area of my hypnosis practice in Atlanta, that if the courting of each person is not continued throughout the entire relationship, not just in the early phases, the marriage will not blossom and flourish. And if the relationship is not a happy one, possibly at least one of the parties will tire of it and then they might find themselves in a courtroom.

“He or she won’t listen to reason!” Translation – she or he argues when I try to get him or her to see it my way. Try this? If you both don’t agree, drop it! Anger won’t change them. You can’t win a fight! Period. There are very few people that don’t respond well to consideration, thoughtfulness, kindness and tenderness. Yet many won’t even try this unless they first get their way.

Respect must be at the center of every relationship. I’m not just talking about opening car doors, pulling out chairs and being polite, but respect for each other’s dreams, desires and opinions.  Often the parties complain that they can’t communicate, when the fact is that they are communicating! It’s that at least one person doesn’t really care what the other one wants.  They want to get their own way, and they want to make sure that the other person sees it their way, and they believe that’s the only way that they will be happy.

This behavior started out when they only were a few days old. They found that if their diapers were wet or dirty and they cried, someone came and changed them! They also found that if they were hungry and cried, they were fed! If they had stomach gas and they cried, someone burped them! They then found out that if they were just lying in the crib bored and they cried, someone picked them up and gave them the attention they wanted!!! They learned and taught those around them that if they cried, they wanted attention or their own way. Many parents always gave in to that crying and thus, reinforced that behavior. This child developed a feeling of entitlement.

Later when they were dating, they found that there were qualities and habits in the other person that they liked, but other habits drove them up the wall. Not a problem, they’ll change that other person. They may or may not have moved from crying; to more advanced methods of manipulation, but one way or another, they worked to change the other person. When they didn’t prevail they became distant, withheld affection, love and then sex. Guess what? None of these approaches worked.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the other person could be changed into what we would like them to be? But you can’t change anyone else’s behavior, you can only change yours! Guess what? You’ll like it and so will your partner in life. Most often when we change ourselves, our husband, wife or partner will change their behavior in response. No one likes to be told what to do or be made to do it. That isn’t the way we want it to be, but that is the way it is.

Can a marriage or relationship that’s gone sour be turned around? Yes, but both parties must understand that each has changes in their behavior that need to be made. Behavioral changes can only be made in the cognitive maps that reside in the subconscious mind. And… the only way to access this subconscious mind is through hypnosis, as hypnosis is the bridge to the subconscious mind.

I have found in my hypnotherapy practice in Atlanta Georgia that it would be helpful if the people that one gets in relationships with, would carry a warning label that read; “all sales final… please choose carefully.” People allow themselves not only to get into, but to stay in relationships where they’re unhappy. I see a number of single people that are in unhappy relationships. I ask them “you are staying in this relationship because?” instead of stating the reason why, they cite an example of the partner’s shortcomings. I ask the question again. “You are staying in this relationship because?” They then cite another example of the person’s inconsideration. Why don’t they just get out? I also deal with people that are abused. Why don’t they get out either? Why don’t they leave?

One – They feel that may never find someone else and then they’ll be alone. Being alone frightens many people, but being alone is preferable to being with the wrong person.

Two – People like to keep things familiar. There’s been much talk about the term “comfort zone.” This writer believes that”comfort zone” is a misnomer. Many people are miserable in their so called comfort zone. What it should be called is the familiar zone because we like to keep things familiar.

Is there anything that one can do if they are in a sour relationship before pulling the plug? Actually there is. Understand this; both you and your partner will have to make behavioral changes and mentioned before, these changes must be made in the subconscious mind. If you’re hurting, if your relationship is broken or you want it to be the way you always hoped it would be, call Bob Crow at 404.277.1827 for a complimentary consultation.

Watch “Courting or  Courtroom?” on the marital counseling tab.

Frequently people facing difficult circumstances in life, whether it is financial, career, relationships or legal, often cite the reason for their problems as “bad karma, bad luck or bad breaks.” When they attribute their problems to bad karma, they’re overlooking the fact that they initially made a choice or choices putting things into motion that would have unforeseen, unintended and undesired consequences. 

These bad choices have consequences that can haunt a person for the rest of their lives. Often, these people don’t even connect the end result with their original choice or decision. Many times they find the consequences, if not impossible to extract themselves from, are extremely painful, costly and will consume enormous amounts of energy trying to reverse things. They have put themselves in a place where they are continually in a defensive posture trying to control damage. When a sports team loses the initiative they must stay on the defense and cannot conduct an offense – therefore they cannot win!

Let me tell you of two young adults, one is 22 and one is 24. One young man was awarded a full scholarship to Pepperdine! Everything paid for. He turned it down because his eighteen year girlfriend of four months who he thinks he’s “madly” in love with, could only get into a junior college. So… that’s where he’s going. He will deal with the consequences of his choice in one way or another for the rest of his life. The reduced income for his working life, will determine what kind of house he will live in, what kind of car he will drive, if and where he can vacation, his life style and even the kind of education that he can provide for his children. It’ll cause him to make other decisions and choices that he wouldn’t have needed to make.

The other person was enrolled in Emory Medical School. She’s dating a boy that likes being alone, and loves spending his time, in the woods. He’s going to a small college in North Georgia to get a degree in forestry. By the way, she hates the great outdoors; she likes urban life, the arts, fine dining and all that it has to offer. She made the choice to drop out of Emory in order to live with this young man. Her choice will have long range effects on how she will live and the future choices that she will have to make.

Whether these choices were the right ones or not, those choices will affect them for the rest of their lives. If they stay together, one of them will live in a way that is diametrically opposed to how they wanted life to be. Remember, the initial choice was one that they wanted to and chose to make!

Many many people knowingly make a choice that isn’t wise for them, and then execute it and hope that somehow things will work out. Often, like marrying someone that has different interests and habits that they hope to correct in the other person, it’s because they don’t want to step out of the familiar zone. Others call it the comfort zone, but since I see so many people in my practice, that are quite miserable in their so called comfort zone, I refer to it as the familiar zone.

When one assigns something other than the choices that they’ve made in life as the cause for the disasters that they must deal with, they’re ducking personal responsibility.

In most instances, the person that was executing the wrong choice knew it; again, they hoped that somehow things would work out. Why did they do it anyway? It’s because human beings are slave to the cognitive maps of their subconscious mind. These maps are our auto pilot. Once we start doing things in a certain way, most often we will continue to function in that manner forever! The only way to change one’s performance is through behavioral change. Long term behavioral change cannot be made in with the willpower and discipline of the conscious mind, it can only be made in the subconscious mind. And hypnosis, is the bridge to the subconscious mind

If you feel that you are stuck and continue to make decisions that are wrong for you, feel free to call me. My name is Bob Crow and I am a behavioral therapist utilizing the therapy of clinical hypnosis.

Recently the Dr. Oz television show featured a segment on weight loss utilizing hypnosis. It’s called the virtual lap band or virtual gastric bypass. There are many clear cut advantages of virtual lap band over the surgical procedure for weight loss. The surgical procedure places a foreign object in the abdomen, an object that in many many cases slips up or down. This is something that can’t be fixed at home! This needs to be repaired in the hospital by a surgeon.

Many believe that the surgical lap band procedure is the panacea for weight loss. The reason that it isn’t, is that the underlying cause of an individual’s weight gain is not addressed by the surgery. It’s like taking your car to the repair shop because the engine isn’t running right, but instead of working on the engine, the shop repaints your car. The car looks great, but it still won’t run right because they didn’t work on the problem.

There are many clear cut advantages to our Virtual Lap Band Program using hypnosis, over the surgical procedure where a silicone lap band is surgically placed around the neck of the stomach. Did you know that almost half the surgically implanted lap bands fail and need to be removed? And did you know that one out of every 300 people die from the surgical procedure or complications resulting from it?

As pointed out on the Dr. Oz television show featuring virtual lap band hypnosis, there’s no post operative recovery time, and no one dies from hypnosis!

Three of the most common complications of the surgically implanted lap band are:

• Chronic vomiting, nausea and reflux. Many patients experience gas even after drinking water!
• The band may slip up or down, potentially leading to a dangerous condition where one is unable to eat or drink. When a complete stomach blockage occurs, immediate surgery needs to be performed to either reposition the lap band or to remove it entirely.
• Another common problem is an enlargement of the stomach pouch. Weight gain after the lap band was surgically implanted, is a symptom of this problem and a surgeon will order an endoscopic examination to confirm has suspicions. Then he will surgically correct the problem.

According to an ABC news report, almost all of the individuals that underwent the surgical lap band procedure, gained most, if not all of their weight back within two years! What was broken – their emotional eating behavior, wasn’t addressed!

The surgical lap band procedure is not minor surgery! In a study of 82 individuals that underwent the surgical lap band procedure – 32 suffered major complications! These failures included nine cases of pouch dilation and 23 of lap band erosion. Sometimes the implanted lap band will migrate into other organs. That’s bad. Other complications are:

• Lack of weight loss.
• Difficulty in swallowing.
• Constipation.
• Deflation of the lap band because of a leak.

And… if you’ve overeaten enough in the past to even be considering bariatric surgery, you’ve already stretched your stomach. And if you don’t address the root cause of your overeating, what’s to stop you from overeating after your surgery and stretching your stomach again?

The most important advantage of our virtual lap band program that utilizes hypnotherapy is in addition to having no pain from the virtual lap band and no recovery period, is that you will be making the needed behavioral changes that are absolutely essential to permanent weight loss.

What can one expect with the virtual lap band method using hypnosis as seen on the Dr. Oz television show? Well, we will help you to identify why you’ve been overeating. Through hypnotherapy you will be enabled to move past those eating cues that have been imbedded in the cognitive maps of the subconscious mind through the years.

You’ll begin to see food in a different light – as what it was meant to be – as a fuel for the body. Not as something to do when one is stressed, angry, worried or bored!

There are three phases to our virtual lap band program.

• Phase One is the weight loss phase – through hypnosis you will feel full so much sooner, as reported by the people on the Dr. Oz television program. You will also develop an aversion to and no longer desire the foods that made you heavy.
• Phase Two is what we call re-feeding. In this phase we will re introduce some foods into your eating regimen in a controlled manner to see how your body responds to and metabolizes them, and to make sure that you don’t gain back any weight by eating those foods.
• Phase Three is lifetime maintenance. The thrust of our entire program is to enable you to not be dieting for the rest of your life, but instead to eat intuitively in a manner that will enable you to stay trim and healthy.

You’ve probably tried many diets and tried “cutting back” on what you eat, and those methods have not enabled you to lose weight. Neither one has worked. Why? It’s because you’ve tried with the will power and discipline of the conscious mind. Permanent behavioral change must be made in the cognitive maps of the subconscious mind. Through hypnosis, you will be able to make the changes in your eating behavior that you desire.

If you are serious about wanting to lose your excess weight permanently, please give me a call for a complimentary consultation.