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All Sales Final!

I’ve found in the marriage counseling area of my hypnosis practice in Atlanta, that if the courting of each person is not continued throughout the entire relationship, not just in the early phases, the marriage will not blossom and flourish. And if the relationship is not a happy one, possibly at least one of the parties will tire of it and then they might find themselves in a courtroom.

“He or she won’t listen to reason!” Translation – she or he argues when I try to get him or her to see it my way. Try this? If you both don’t agree, drop it! Anger won’t change them. You can’t win a fight! Period. There are very few people that don’t respond well to consideration, thoughtfulness, kindness and tenderness. Yet many won’t even try this unless they first get their way.

Respect must be at the center of every relationship. I’m not just talking about opening car doors, pulling out chairs and being polite, but respect for each other’s dreams, desires and opinionsOften the parties complain that they can’t communicate, when the fact is that they are communicating! It’s that at least one person doesn’t really care what the other one wants.  They want to get their own way, and they want to make sure that the other person sees it their way, and they believe that’s the only way that they will be happy.

This behavior started out when they only were a few days old. They found that if their diapers were wet or dirty and they cried, someone came and changed them! They also found that if they were hungry and cried, they were fed! If they had stomach gas and they cried, someone burped them! They then found out that if they were just lying in the crib bored and they cried, someone picked them up and gave them the attention they wanted!!! They learned and taught those around them that if they cried, they wanted attention or their own way. Many parents always gave in to that crying and thus, reinforced that behavior. This child developed a feeling of entitlement.

Later when they were dating, they found that there were qualities and habits in the other person that they liked, but other habits drove them up the wall. Not a problem, they’ll change that other person. They may or may not have moved from crying; to more advanced methods of manipulation, but one way or another, they worked to change the other person. When they didn’t prevail they became distant, withheld affection, love and then sex. Guess what? None of these approaches worked.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the other person could be changed into what we would like them to be? But you can’t change anyone else’s behavior, you can only change yours! Guess what? You’ll like it and so will your partner in life. Most often when we change ourselves, our husband, wife or partner will change their behavior in response. No one likes to be told what to do or be made to do it. That isn’t the way we want it to be, but that is the way it is.

Can a marriage or relationship that’s gone sour be turned around? Yes, but both parties must understand that each has changes in their behavior that need to be made. Behavioral changes can only be made in the cognitive maps that reside in the subconscious mind. And… the only way to access this subconscious mind is through hypnosis, as hypnosis is the bridge to the subconscious mind.

I have found in my hypnotherapy practice in Atlanta Georgia that it would be helpful if the people that one gets in relationships with, would carry a warning label that read; “all sales final… please choose carefully.” People allow themselves not only to get into, but to stay in relationships where they’re unhappy. I see a number of single people that are in unhappy relationships. I ask them “you are staying in this relationship because?” instead of stating the reason why, they cite an example of the partner’s shortcomings. I ask the question again. “You are staying in this relationship because?” They then cite another example of the person’s inconsideration. Why don’t they just get out? I also deal with people that are abused. Why don’t they get out either? Why don’t they leave?

One – They feel that may never find someone else and then they’ll be alone. Being alone frightens many people, but being alone is preferable to being with the wrong person.

Two – People like to keep things familiar. There’s been much talk about the term “comfort zone.” This writer believes that”comfort zone” is a misnomer. Many people are miserable in their so called comfort zone. What it should be called is the familiar zone because we like to keep things familiar.

Is there anything that one can do if they are in a sour relationship before pulling the plug? Actually there is. Understand this; both you and your partner will have to make behavioral changes and mentioned before, these changes must be made in the subconscious mind. If you’re hurting, if your relationship is broken or you want it to be the way you always hoped it would be, call Bob Crow at 404.277.1827 for a complimentary consultation.

Watch “Courting or  Courtroom?” on the marital counseling tab.


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