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What Makes a Bad Parent? Part III

They lived in Buckhead, a suburb of Atlanta on a street named Tuxedo Drive – one of the most expensive addresses in Atlanta. In the course of their interview I asked them where the son lived and how was he able to pay rent since he refused to work? They explained that their son lived in an apartment in their home. I asked them how big was the son’s apartment? They said “not that big, a little over 3000 square feet.” I thought 3000 square feet? Wow! (Of course their mansion was 40,000 square feet!) I asked if they charged him rent and they said “of course not… he’s our son.”

I asked them how he could make car payments and they replied that they had given him a Land Rover and a Lamborghini. “What does he do for spending money?” I inquired? We give him a salary of $4000 a month. “What does he have to do for that salary?” They were embarrassed to answer… nothing.

I then asked them “why should he work?” When they didn’t answer I said, “That is not a rhetorical question.” “But why should he work?” You see their son suffered no negative consequences for his not going to college, not working and not helping his parents in their business. Their son never had to do anything that he didn’t want to do. Ever!

They asked me if I could help their son? Regretfully, I had to honestly answer “I’d like to, but no! You have allowed him to develop non productive habits and have ruined him by not allowing him to take responsibility for either his actions or his lack of actions.” “He believes that he is entitled to have whatever he wants out of life WITHOUT working for it! He believes that he is entitled.

You have taught him that life is a free ride.” “It is not!” “I cannot undo over a quarter of a century of complete permissiveness and entitlement.” A person will not make behavioral change they don’t want to make and he doesn’t see the need for or want to make any changes in his life. He’s like a worm that lives in a rotten piece of fruit – he’s already content!

Moving along if a child WANTS a dog, it has to be their responsibility to feed the dog, clean up after it and walk it… rain or shine or cold – this is not something that one of the parents should do. This is not the right message to send to the child.

The child should make their bed until they leave home and move out some day. The child must have chores to do around the house. He or she lives there don’t they? Parents should not be treated like their child’s servants!

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